Tana Mongeau "didn't care if [she] died" during Xanax addiction.
The 21-year-old YouTube star has revealed she battled an addiction to the anxiety and panic disorder medication during 2019, and said the dependency was so severe she would take enough in a day to "kill" her, although she insists that wasn't her intention.
She said: "I was definitely taking enough to where I wasn't trying to kill myself but I definitely didn't care if I died."
Tana said those close to her knew she took the medication, but didn't know the extent of her addiction until she was forced to tell her manager Jordan Worona.
She added: The night before we started filming the season I told Jordan how much I was taking when all that s**t happened with my mom. He was kind of like, 'So you tried to kill yourself?' And I was like, 'No, I just took this amount of pills,' and he was like, 'If you're taking that much and you know it can kill you, you're okay with that?'"
The blonde beauty also explained that whilst 2019 was "the most successful textbook year" of her life, she also suffered the "worst" year for her mental health.
She said: "A lot of the things I'm about to say hold a lot of weight. 2019 might've been one of the most successful textbook years of my life, but when it comes to my mental state, it was absolutely, hands-down in my 21-years of life the worst year of that."
Tana eventually sought help for her mental health, and whilst she admits things still aren't "perfect", she's now "finally in a place to be a role model".
Speaking in a video posted to her YouTube channel titled 'Letting you in on the truth about MTV, depression + a life update', she said: "I have this platform with millions of people listening to the things I say and I can do more to be a better person and make the world a better person. I needed to be the almost exact opposite of that and hit that darkest, lowest point to understand how important life is and what I have is."
This article originally ran on celebretainment.com.
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