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Rona Barrett

Rona Barrett

Recently a friend and I talked about a particular relationship problem that many men have – but are loath to discuss. I told him he should do a Guest Column. Here it is:

I’ve had this excellent relationship for over 75 years. Yes, I am an old guy. All was well for a while. Then for reasons unexplainable to me Bladder caused our relationship to deteriorate.

His position was he had been a loyal friend all these years and now he wanted to have more freedom; he wanted to evacuate when he saw fit and would no longer advise me. It was particularly distressful to me; he exercised his new freedom during the day and again when I slept. I told him his conduct was disrespectful and inconsiderate.

I interacted with a doctor who prescribed a gladiator, Tamsulosin, who worked under an alias, Flomax, to combat and subdue the recalcitrant Bladder.

Flomax threatened Bladder with combat. Bladder laughed at Flomax. None of the stated side effects of Flomax: dizziness, lightheadedness, weakness, drowsiness, headache, nausea, diarrhea, back pain, blurred vision, dental problems, sleep problems (insomnia), abnormal ejaculation, decreased sex drive, runny or stuffy nose, sore throat, cough, or other took place.

After dark in my bedroom, Flomax challenged Bladder to a duel. Bladder had the choice of weapons and chose his single shot dueling pistols made by I Lang, a nineteenth-century English manufacturer.

Each stood back to back. The pistols held in their right hands and pointed to the ceiling. Each took 10 paces, turned, and fired. Bladder put one shot through Flomax’s forehead. My gladiator fell like the incompetent he was.

I needed a new gladiator. I went to the Internet. After reading all the gladiator’s reviews, I chose AZO. He appeared to be a reputable opponent to Bladder. His main attributes were Pumpkin Seed and Soy Germ extract. Again I followed the directions. I finished the 54 capsules.

Now, Bladder was still winning. AZO challenged Bladder. AZO told Bladder he was intentionally not trying to help me, being disrespectful and inconsiderate, and not obeying his master. Bladder told AZO he was no one’s slave and only pursuing long-awaited freedom from my control. During their duel, Bladder, a tough competitor, shot Azo through the heart.

Another Internet search found Securi-T, a well-reviewed gladiator. Bladder and Securi-T boxed and beat on one another for 12 rounds. Bladder won by unanimous decision.

A final experiment was no water after five o’clock in the afternoon. Bladder laughed at my distress while evacuating.

Any and all suggestions for new gladiators are most welcome, Good People.

Thank you, Miss Rona, for allowing me to release my frustration!

***

You’re most welcome, my friend. I know this is a tough subject to talk about, so I appreciate your candor – and humor! I hope the answer you’re looking for comes through my inbox!

And Dear Readers, if you have a problem you’re not able to solve on your own, drop me a line either through email or snail mail. If I can't help you, I'll ask for readers' help, or you will ask them yourself as a guest columnist!

Until next time ... keep thinking the good thoughts.

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Senior activist and local resident Rona Barrett is the driving force behind the Golden Inn & Village (GIV), the area’s first affordable senior living facility. GIV strives to bring services to seniors so they may age in place. Reach her at info@ronabarrettfoundation.org. Visit www.ronabarrettfoundation.org for more information.

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