Dear Abby: Women's attraction to man complicates friendship
Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Women's attraction to man complicates friendship

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Lauren" and her husband separated for a few months last summer. During the separation, she had a short fling with my friend "Zack," whom she met at my house. Lauren decided to continue her marriage and, obviously, chose to stop seeing Zack.

A few months ago, Zack came to a party I threw. Lauren wasn't able to make it. Everyone had a few margaritas, and as the night ended, I found myself having sex with Zack for the first time since our friendship began 10 or so years ago. It was so great, and we decided to do it again. I wasn't sure I should tell Lauren, even though she's a married woman, because I was afraid it might upset her.

A week ago, Zack confessed that he may be in love with me, and I feel the same way toward him. I decided to go ahead and tell Lauren, since my relationship with Zack is getting serious. She reacted terribly. She was furious and accused me of "betraying" her and trying to "one-up" her. She said I should have known how she felt about him and that I'm a terrible friend for having sex with him, let alone falling in love. Abby, are her feelings justified? Am I in the wrong? Or are we all still adults? -- ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE

DEAR ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE: Lauren's feelings justified? Heck, no! If you and Lauren are still speaking, "remind" her that when she went back to her husband, she relinquished all claims on the man she slept with in the interim. He's entitled to a life and so are you. If I were you, I'd distance myself from this woman. She shouldn't begrudge you for enjoying someone she can't enjoy herself. Shame on her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a student at an art school, and I'm struggling with anxiety and depression. I have been on lockdown in my hometown due to the COVID-19 pandemic, isolated from my friends and unable to socialize with others. Sometimes when I watch the news I become very anxious, and I wonder if there's a light at the end of these dark times. What should I do? -- ANXIETY-RIDDEN IN ATLANTA

DEAR ANXIETY-RIDDEN: Welcome to the club! If you think you have been alone in experiencing these emotions, you couldn't be more wrong. Many people feel just the way you do -- anxious, isolated and depressed.

You can manage negative emotions by getting out of the house and exercising -- alone or with friends or neighbors -- while staying a social distance apart -- and keeping in touch with friends and classmates using your computer and cellphone. There's no reason you couldn't collaborate with some of them on an art project and create something spectacular using those devices.

Remind yourself that this quarantine is temporary. It isn't going to last forever. Unless you have an underlying health condition or someone in your household does, you can mingle with others wearing a face covering and keeping your distance.

Concerned about COVID-19?

* I understand and agree that registration on or use of this site constitutes agreement to its user agreement and privacy policy.

Related to this story

Most Popular

  • Updated

DEAR ABBY: My husband of nearly 22 years and I divorced last year after he told me he didn't want to be married anymore and didn't know if he ever loved me. Since our split, he has bought a home with another woman -- the same woman I suspected him of having an affair with, and the same woman he encouraged me to befriend during our marriage. 

DEAR ABBY: I recently lost my mom. It was very sudden. We were extremely close, and she was the most wonderful grandmother to my children. My mother-in-law and my husband have a strained relationship that I have struggled to navigate for years. I have always reached out to her and made sure she sees the grandchildren.

DEAR ABBY: I am dealing with the worst heartbreak ever. I don't know what I did to make my boyfriend stop liking me. He won't talk to me or text me back, and now he has blocked me on Facebook. One minute he said that he would always hang out with me and the next he told me to stop messaging him and blocked me. All of this has made me go out of control, and now I want to hate on everyone. How can I stop this awful hurt? -- LOVE HURTS IN OREGON

DEAR ABBY: I have three beautiful daughters. The oldest moved to Wisconsin some years ago. About a year ago, my middle daughter went to visit her. My older daughter said something about politics that the younger one didn't like, and since then the younger one refuses to communicate with her, which is breaking my heart. My older daughter asked if I could help by talking to her. 

DEAR ABBY: I have a question about my daughter's new husband, "Brad." I haven't interfered with their marriage and don't want to, but he seems very moody and barely speaks to me. Just when I think I've found a common topic, on the next visit four or five weeks later, he doesn't say a word.

Get up-to-the-minute news sent straight to your device.


News Alerts

Breaking News