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Dear Abby: Nightly dinner with sister is too much togetherness
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Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Nightly dinner with sister is too much togetherness

DEAR ABBY: I am 25 and live with my parents. My 28-year-old sister lives in a condo about 10 minutes away. She just graduated from school and moved back here, which means she doesn't have many friends in the city.

For the last five months, she has been coming over for dinner like clockwork every day and every weekend. I'm still finding ways to be social during quarantine, but my sister doesn't seem able to find other means to meet people. Seeing this much of her is, well, too much.

She demands attention, practically forces us to entertain her and gets upset when the dinner my parents are cooking doesn't meet her specifications. At her age, spending this much time with your parents seems, quite frankly, unhealthy. I'm scared to bring it up because she's hypersensitive. How do I avoid another several months of lockdown with a person who doesn't even live with me? -- OVERWHELMED IN OREGON

DEAR OVERWHELMED: This isn't a subject you should address with your sister, but is something to discuss privately with your parents. Whether to draw the line and encourage your sister to become less dependent is something they might want to consider.

When her company becomes more than you can handle, excuse yourself, go to your room and avail yourself of your other ways to be social by firing up your computer and visiting with friends. It would also be a kindness for you to suggest ways she, too, can network with people in her field or who have some common interests.

DEAR ABBY: Every day when my husband comes home, he takes off his shoes to relax. He works hard outdoors more than 10 hours daily. His feet smell horrible -- unbearable to be around. We have tried insoles, baking soda, foot sprays and even health checks, which helped but didn't get rid of the problem.

He gets offended when I ask him to change his socks and wash his feet. To him I'm out of line to continually point it out. But I can't even sit in the same room with him. Help! -- STINKING TIRED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR STINKING TIRED: There is a name for your husband's very common medical condition: It's bromodosis, and it is fixable. It's the result of sweat and the growth of bacteria and possibly fungus.

Your husband should discuss this again with his doctor. Directions for treating his condition are also available online, but they are longer than my column can accommodate. Doing a search on healthline.com would be a good place to start. He should also carry an extra pair of shoes and socks and change them in the course of the workday. Let's hope that from now on your husband will put his best foot forward.

DEAR ABBY: I want to donate to organizations that do good work. My question is, where can I find out which charities put all of the donations toward their cause rather than to staff and fundraising? -- GIVING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR GIVING: Go online and search Charity Navigator. It's the largest evaluator of charities in the United States and provides reliable data on more than 1.8 million charities and nonprofits.

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DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law "Brenda" often takes it upon herself to change a baby's diaper during social gatherings with family. She never bothers to ask the baby's parents if it's OK to do this, and they never solicit her help. For years, I found it a bit strange, but never said anything to Brenda or another family member.

DEAR ABBY: My older sister, "Olive," moved to the West Coast three years ago. My parents, my two older siblings and I live on the East Coast. During this past year, Olive has grown more and more distant from us. She always has an excuse when we try to set up a group Facetime or even a phone call. This has happened dozens of times now.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 22-year-old woman who was adopted. I recently started dating an amazing man who happens to be of another race. My parents, whom I love very much, told me that if I stay with him, they will disown me. They have made many horrible comments about my relationship, and I'm at a loss about what to do. I love them, but I also love my boyfriend. Please give me advice. What should I do? -- HOPELESS IN INDIANA

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 22-year-old woman who was adopted. I recently started dating an amazing man who happens to be of another race. My parents, whom I love very much, told me that if I stay with him, they will disown me. They have made many horrible comments about my relationship, and I'm at a loss about what to do. I love them, but I also love my boyfriend. Please give me advice. What should I do? -- HOPELESS IN INDIANA

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together since we were 21, and he has always had a distant relationship with his parents. I encouraged him during the first few years of our marriage to call them and visit. I stopped doing that after his mom and I had some choice words.

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