Dear Abby: Daughter on the rebound lands in arms of friend
Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Daughter on the rebound lands in arms of friend

DEAR ABBY: My 30-year-old daughter and her husband separated three months ago. After three years of marriage and months of counseling, she moved in with my husband and me. We were delighted.

She started spending a lot of time helping a male friend renovate his house and has essentially been living with him since the COVID outbreak. It's clearly more than a friendship. I have been open about my concern that she's rushing into this relationship. I encouraged her to see a counselor on her own, which she is doing.

Tonight she shared that she is excited that he booked a trip for them for late summer. I'm struggling because she is still married, and I feel uncomfortable about her relationship with this new guy. Am I too old-fashioned? -- WORRYING MOM IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MOM: You are not too old-fashioned. You are the concerned mom of a woman who is on the rebound. Could it be she was already having feelings for this man as she was ending her marriage?

I'm glad she listened to you and was willing to seek counseling. You gave her good advice. May I suggest you offer her more? Suggest she talk to a lawyer about how her current arrangement might affect a divorce if she and her husband choose to go through with one. That she is essentially living with someone could be construed as having abandoned her husband, and it might prevent an amicable settlement.

DEAR ABBY: How can I converse with my parents who cannot and will not keep their political opinions to themselves? They literally cannot have a conversation of more than a few minutes that doesn't spiral into a litany of complaints about the government. I end every conversation angry, either at myself for not speaking up or at them for not shutting up.

It does no good to ask them not to discuss politics. They say they'll discuss what they want in their own home or remind me that -- when I was the one who initiated the call -- I'm the one who can end it if I don't like what I'm hearing. Heaven forbid anyone disagree with their opinions. They have cut off family and friends for decades over differences of opinion.

I suggested they volunteer in their political community in hopes of redirecting their obsessions into something positive, but they refuse. I'm at a loss. I no longer hope for a relationship with them. I need tips on how to speak to them with grace. -- TURNED OFF IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TURNED OFF: If what your parents do all day is listen to political talk shows, it may account for their "obsession."

When you call them, keep a list close by of things you want to tell them. Ask if they need anything you can provide, how they are doing healthwise, how they are managing with the social disruption that has taken place. Tell them how you are, what you have been doing and what you might have heard about family members or friends they know. Then, if the conversation veers into a political polemic, do as they have suggested. Make an excuse to end the conversation before it turns ugly.

 

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DEAR ABBY: My husband of nearly 22 years and I divorced last year after he told me he didn't want to be married anymore and didn't know if he ever loved me. Since our split, he has bought a home with another woman -- the same woman I suspected him of having an affair with, and the same woman he encouraged me to befriend during our marriage. 

DEAR ABBY: I recently lost my mom. It was very sudden. We were extremely close, and she was the most wonderful grandmother to my children. My mother-in-law and my husband have a strained relationship that I have struggled to navigate for years. I have always reached out to her and made sure she sees the grandchildren.

DEAR ABBY: I am dealing with the worst heartbreak ever. I don't know what I did to make my boyfriend stop liking me. He won't talk to me or text me back, and now he has blocked me on Facebook. One minute he said that he would always hang out with me and the next he told me to stop messaging him and blocked me. All of this has made me go out of control, and now I want to hate on everyone. How can I stop this awful hurt? -- LOVE HURTS IN OREGON

DEAR ABBY: I have three beautiful daughters. The oldest moved to Wisconsin some years ago. About a year ago, my middle daughter went to visit her. My older daughter said something about politics that the younger one didn't like, and since then the younger one refuses to communicate with her, which is breaking my heart. My older daughter asked if I could help by talking to her. 

DEAR ABBY: I have a question about my daughter's new husband, "Brad." I haven't interfered with their marriage and don't want to, but he seems very moody and barely speaks to me. Just when I think I've found a common topic, on the next visit four or five weeks later, he doesn't say a word.

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