When it comes to helping their children with homework, some parents would probably rather bang their head against a wall.

But there are steps parents can take to alleviate the frustration and pounding temples associated with homework.

Joe Dana, principal at Ralph Dunlap Elementary and the Orcutt K-8 Academy, and Kathleen Stevenson, past president of the Santa Maria Valley Council of Parent Teachers Associations, offered some proven remedies during a recent presentation of Homework Without Headaches.

The educators provided information, strategies, resources and tools to help parents avoid homework headaches.

Two of the recurring messages they delivered were: Be clear in communication and expectations, and be firm in a commitment to get work done.

"Be prepared to be tested and be prepared with consequences," Dana told the group. "You need to be ready to get tough."

Dana wasn't suggesting using a rolled-up newspaper to get children to do their work. In fact, he rewards his own son with playtime on his Wii video games for getting his work done correctly and on time. But if the carrot doesn't work, parents need to go to the stick, he said.

If praise and rewards don't work, Dana explained, privileges, such as video game or television time, need to be curtailed or eliminated.

The top 10 causes of homework headaches are: disorganization; students not doing their best work; refusal to do homework; not bringing homework home; taking all night to finish; refusal to do homework alone without parental supervision; waiting until the last minute to finish large projects; feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work; students not taking responsibility for their own work; and parents feeling inadequate to help.

Clear communication is a key factor in solving nearly every one of the top 10 problems. Parents need to be very clear in their instructions, Stevenson said, and to do that, parents may have to think like their children.

Stevenson said that when she and her husband expect their 10-year-old to do an hour's worth of homework, they tell her she needs to work for two "Sponge Bob" episodes. That way, their child has a better understanding of how long she is expected to work.

Other areas where clear communication helps is for children who don't do their best work or just flatly refuse to do it. Children need to be told that homework is expected to be brought home, completed and finished within the allotted homework time. That eliminates forgetfulness and either racing through or languishing over it.

Homework contracts are one tool that puts expectations in print. Dana showed a printed contract available in the book "Homework Without Tears," that spells out daily or weekly homework assignments on a grid. When the assignments are completed and checked off, the contract specifies rewards.

Dana explained his video game reward system with his son and added there are many other ways to reward students. The Chuck E. Cheese Web site, www.chuckecheese.com, has printable reward calendars, Dana explained.

Stevenson also explained that young students need to have a specific amount of time in which they are expected to do homework. She said if students are given a specific amount of time - 90 minutes, for example - with strict instructions to complete the assignments, it prevents some students from racing through their homework and prevents others from taking all night to finish.

Setting time parameters helps children learn time management skills that come into play when they're given long-term projects. Helping students learn how to study is more important than assisting them with their studies, Stevenson added.

Long-range project planners also are invaluable for students who tend to feel either overwhelmed by large projects or uncertain about where to start. Those forms can be found in many books and learning Web sites.

The teachers also recommended the student-friendly Heinle Dictionary as another good resource.

While long-term concentration can be a problem, some students get overloaded by the number of words or problems on a single page. Focus frames, L-shaped frames that block out surrounding problems on a page, help students focus on a single equation. A "sliding mask" is a similar tool that helps students with reading issues block out other words that can be distractions.

Noise-suppressing headphones also can enable students to block out distractions. With all of the noise from a busy household, or siblings who are either watching television or playing video games, headphones can reduce those roars and help kids focus.

Dana said involving friends in homework can help unmotivated students.

"If they have a friend by their side, it suddenly becomes cool to get their homework done," he explained.

Using the Internet and school Web sites, or texting homework assignments can also spark a child's interest in homework.

Above all, parents shouldn't feel pressure to teach their students the lessons of the day.

"In a perfect world, what is in their homework is what was covered in the classroom that day," Stevenson said.

Parents are there to provide support and positive encouragement.

November 2, 2009